Tips for Raising Muslim Children
Raising Muslim children and teaching them the ways of Islam is the primary obligation of Muslim parents. Nowadays, this is a daunting and challenging task. Children are surrounded by many undesirable influences.
Exposure to television, media, video games, and the internet can produce adverse effects on them and can actually play a big role in determining their personality. With these influences, what can Muslim parents do so their children are protected from these influences and have Islam rooted deep in their beings?
Exposure to television, media, video games, and the internet can produce adverse effects on them and can actually play a big role in determining their personality. With these influences, what can Muslim parents do so their children are protected from these influences and have Islam rooted deep in their beings?
Tips for Raising Muslim Children
Lay the Foundation
From the early part of raising Muslim children, it is an essential that parents implant Islamic knowledge and values in the hearts and minds of the children so they will be righteous persons when they grow up. Teaching them to follow Allah and the Quran from an early age is the most important thing a parent can do for their children. Instilling love and devotion for Allah as well as fearing his displeasure can make sure that the child will be conscious of how to come up with reasonable and correct decisions.
Lead By Example
Muslim parents should remember that an essential part of parenting and raising Muslim children is being a good example. The child is constantly watching the parent's actions and this is how they learn. This means that if a parent is fulfilling all their Muslim duties, this will also be emulated by the children.
Provide the Correct Environment
Parents will have to show respect for each other, especially when the children are around. If there are domestic conflicts, these issues must only be discussed in the privacy of their rooms and not in front of the children. They must be consistent when they deal with their child and there must also be an agreement between husband and wife. Children must know that if something suits them, both parents will support them and if something does not, both must also oppose.
Show Love and Affection
Parents should Kiss their children, sit with them, praise them, be kind to them and love them with all their hearts. According to Bukhari, 8.26, the prophet, Muhammad (peace be upon him) was sitting with a companion named Al-Aqra and kissed his grandson. Al Aqra saw this and said, "I have ten children and I have never kissed any of them." Muhammad (peace be upon him) responded,
Show Love and Affection, but Do Not Be Their Friend
It is good and looked upon favorably by Allah to show love and affection as mentioned above, however Muslim parents must be careful to keep their boundaries as a parent and not become their child's "friend". Many parents today think they should be their children's buddy. When this happens, the child loses a certain respect for the parent and it becomes more difficult for the parent to enforce rules and proper guidance.
A Note About Love
When it comes to children, love is about doing what is best for them, regardless of how it affects the parent, or how the child will react. It's completely selfless. Parents must guide their children and do what's best for them in the eyes of Allah, despite how it affects them. Many times this involves enforcing things that children find unpleasant or may not like. The child might cry, or have a tantrum. Parents must be strong knowing that the child is unaware they are being taught responsibility, integrity, faith, respect, etc. If the child becomes a parent's "friend", this is an impossible task.
Many parents give in to their child at the first sign of tears, screaming, begging, etc. This does not help the child develop in a positive way. Most parent's hearts are in the right place, although sometimes not (some parents just want to the child to be quiet so they don't have to listen to them). Either way, giving in to the child will be harmful. It will teach the child that all they need to do to get what they want is pout. This will persist in their adult lives. It will lead to them being a victim and when they don't get what they want they will feel sorry for themselves and blame everyone else for their failing.
Love does not always mean giving the child what they want. Of course, love will consist of many things that make children happy; kissing them, showing affection, playing games with them, teaching them things, making them feel important, giving them tasks to do and praising them for a job well done, etc. These things should and must be done, for they will help children develop in very positive ways.
When a parent thinks about loving their child, they should be thinking "Is this the best thing for my child?"
Conclusion
The Quran tells us that Allah is aware of the challenges that come with raising children. It also tells us that children are a blessing and a test. The main purpose of marriage in Islam is to have children. Many Muslim parents are unable to have them, so despite the challenges parents face, they must be grateful for such a wonderful blessing from Allah. The Quran clearly tells us that we will be tested on how we handle this blessing.
Pray for guidance from Allah, read the Quran and other Muslim teachings on raising children, and know that Allah is aware of your hardships and if you ask for guidance from him, you will receive it and be provided with everything you need from Allah to raise your children righteously.
